Is it healthy to interlink personal life and business life?
Let’s talk about boundaries and the interlink of business and life, and actually how healthy is that?
Listen to the podcast version below, or if you prefer reading, read on.
Boundaries are really important, especially healthy boundaries too. If you’ve got unhealthy boundaries, obviously it’s unhealthy, isn’t it? There’s no other way of looking at it or saying it other than it is unhealthy. Whereas setting up really healthy boundaries is going to help you in the long run, especially if you’re planning on having a business for a long time.
I’ve found throughout my whole journey of being a business owner, that your business life and your personal life can massively interlink, especially if you work from home. And it makes you wonder how you can separate the two. They can merge hugely and your life becomes your business and your business becomes your life.
But, is that healthy? In my eyes, it isn’t. And that comes from experience.
When I first started running my business eight years ago, I was working all the hours. I was maybe doing 12 to 14 hour days just to grow the business and get it where I wanted it to be. And I continued on like that for about four years before I thought, “you know, I’m exhausted. I’m not getting any time off. Why, why am I doing this?”
A lot of entrepreneurs I think will question that at some point; at least once in their journey of running a business. “Why am I doing this?” Especially when it sometimes feels as though our businesses are more demanding and take more time away from us than what a nine to five job would do. And sometimes that thought of, “shall I just go get a job”, can creep in at different times throughout the entrepreneurial journey as well. If you have found this, it’s normal, don’t worry.
In terms of boundaries and how I used to be with my business, I didn’t have any. I was working 12 to 14 hour days.
I was working weekends as well, wasn’t really going out and doing anything, wasn’t really living my life at all, and I was exhausted. I would never have any time off.
I would get to the end of the year near Christmas where I’d have maybe two weeks off, and that would be my time to recoup and recover from the whole year of working to then get started again for the new year. It was tiring and it was exhausting.
In 2018, I realised I couldn’t go on like this any longer. I rebranded my business, changed my ideal client and who I wanted to work with, and put my prices up. I repositioned my whole business so that I could put my prices up and once I did that, I started working less, but earning more.
It was great and it gave me more time, but then the same thing kept happening. And it happened up until the end of 2020, where even when I wasn’t working, I was thinking about my business 24/7. Even when I was spending time with my friends and family, I was either talking about the business or thinking about the business. And it was only at the end of 2020 when my late husband (George) was diagnosed with a brain tumour, did I realise that things needed to change. The most important thing was being able to spend time with the people that you love and be fully present as well, because to me, the business was just the business at that moment in time. What was more important was the people in my life, because you’re never going to get those people back.
Jobs come and go. Businesses come and go too, but people… Once they’re gone, they’re gone. And you’re never going to get that time back with those people. So you have to value the people you love the most in this life. For me at this time, it was George and knowing he’d received a terminal diagnosis and we didn’t have long together – it made me re-evaluate everything. It made me realise things needed to change and boundaries needed to be in place.
Putting boundaries in place will help. You’ve got to make sure they’re healthy boundaries, especially if you’re spinning a lot of plates, like being a parent, a carer, or if you have a chronic illness. and if you are a carer. Having those healthy boundaries in place and being able to manage your time effectively while you’re working IN the business and ON the business means you will be able to put it all to one side and be fully present and in the moment, while spending time with your loved ones. This is the most precious time that you can ever have, and it’s vitally important.
Putting those healthy boundaries in place means you won’t be sitting there with your friends and family thinking about your business, meaning you’re not being fully present with them. You are almost taking them for granted by doing this. Guilt will set in, which it did for me. You’ll start saying no to actually spending time with those people, and you’ll soon regret doing that as well.
I wish I’d said yes more, rather than no.
I wish I hadn’t put the business first at times. I wish I’d put my friends and family first because I was guilty of putting my business first and prioritising that because I thought that was the way it was meant to be. Since George passed away at the end of 2021 and the whole 11 month journey that I went on with him along his cancer journey, it made me really evaluate everything in my life and actually look at what was important and what wasn’t important.
So what do healthy boundaries look like?
Well, I’ve got a couple of examples for you in terms of what you could potentially look at for you and your life and business, but essentially it’s up to you. You need to know what you ARE available for and what you AREN’T available for. I’d recommend getting really clear on what those are, and then building your business and life around those boundaries and having those clear boundaries in place.
Here are some healthy boundary examples for you:
1. Transitioning from one to the other.
If you don’t have a dedicated workspace where you work in and on your business, I would highly recommend that you create one.
For me, I’ve converted one of the bedrooms in the house to a home office, and it’s great because obviously everything to do with the business is in this home office. As soon as I walk out of this home office at the end of the day, or at whatever point where I’ve decided that I’ve finished for the day, that’s it. I’m done. The business stays where it is and I’m in my personal life.
If you’re finding that you are working at the dining room table or the kitchen table, would it be better to dedicate a space to your business and one that isn’t encroaching into your family life and personal life, because then you can easily transition from one to the other.
Transitioning could look like: clearing your desk at the end of the day, closing your laptop down, putting your phone on ‘do not disturb’ so you can now be fully present in your life and not have your time be dictated by your phone. I cannot stress this enough, how important it is to spend quality, fully present time with your friends and your family. Having a clear transition can work very well.
2. Staying true to your values.
Look at how your business is actually set up, look at what your values are, and whether your business is aligned with your values. Let’s use the value of FREEDOM as an example. Is your business in alignment with that value of freedom? Is it giving you the freedom that you desire? And if it isn’t, what do you need to do so that it is?
3. Setting clear boundaries with clients and your availability.
You can put this in your contracts, in your terms and conditions – what you are available for, what you are not available for; what your working hours are, and also what communication mediums you will and won’t accept. This is something I did in my contracts as a graphic designer for my clients – I only accepted communication via Zoom, Facebook Messenger and email. I did not accept WhatsApp messages because to me, WhatsApp messages were for family and friends only.
4. Leaving stress at the door, which is such a healthy boundary.
It’s a difficult one to instil into your business but you want to be making sure if something is stressing you out in your business, you leave that stress at the door so it doesn’t encroach into the time you’re spending with your friends and family.
So, what can you do to leave the stress at the door? Could you do a brain dump in a journal at the end of the day? Could you journal on your day? Could you do some breath work or some silent meditation to just release that stress and clear it so that when you go to then transition nicely into your personal life, it’s not coming out; it’s not being pushed onto other people, and it’s not affecting your mood and how you are spending that time with the people in your life either.
So why are boundaries so important? Why do they matter?
Well, from personal experience, I was thinking about my business 24/7 and I wasn’t fully present in the moment. I’d spend time with friends and family and I’d be too busy thinking about my business and what I needed to do the next day instead of actually relaxing and enjoying the moment. I know that had i set some more healthy boundaries, along with some routines and procedures within the business, I would have been more present.
The other reason why boundaries are so important is because life is for living and for being in the present moment. I mean, I’ve said this throughout this episode, but really it is important that you are present and in the moment because you’re never going to get that time back. You can’t turn back time. All you can do is spend the time that you do have now, wisely.
A question to ask yourself: do you want be spending time with your friends and family, letting the stress, strain and worry of running a business, ruin that time with them? Or would you rather just put clear boundaries in place so that the time that you do spend with them, you are having fun, you are living your life, you are enjoying that moment and you are not taking anything for granted?
